Readers, I though I’d take a second out of my busy schedule laying in bed to wish you all a happy and safe fourth of July. So get out there and grill something or whatever the hell people do to celebrate. And before you goobers begin the America trolling, remember: some countries don’t even have fireworks

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Yay, Independence: Happy Fourth Of July!

I swear, I don’t know how you guys do it — I can’t even take care of myself. Just sayin’, I almost burnt my entire apartment complex to the ground trying to boil hotdogs for lunch. What does that say about my potential parenting skills

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Thank God I’m Sterile: Happy Father’s Day!

For years now, hotel chains have been toying with alternative ways to letting patrons check-in, access their room and run up their bill with all-too-convenient in-room services. Marriott began testing smartphone check-ins way back in 2006, and select boutique locations (like The Plaza Hotel in New York and Boston’s Nine Zero) have relied on RFID, iris scanners, biometric identifiers and all sorts of whiz-bang entry methods in order to make getting past a lock that much easier (or harder, depending on perspective). This month, InterContinental Hotels Group announced that they would soon be trialing OpenWays at Chicago’s Holiday Inn Express Houston Downtown Convention Center, enabling iPhone owners to fire up an app and watch their room door open in a magical sort of way.

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OpenWays makes your smartphone a hotel room key, provides a different kind of ‘unlock’

With a glorified vibrator from Newegg. Because nothing says, “thanks for everything, mom !” like a muffled buzz coming from your parents’ room. Product Site Thanks to darwin police, who recently received a call from a woman’s husband who claimed his wife had modified an electric mixer to pleasure herself.

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Make This Mother’s Day A Special One…

Well folks, with Easter right around the corner what better way to celebrate than candy -filled dinosaur eggs ? I can’t think of any.

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YES PLEASE!: Dinosaur Easter Eggs

Diesel, looking for a way to cash in on the upcoming Iron Man sequel, decided cologne was the way to go. It wasn’t, Diesel (aluminum foil pants). Also, why’s the bottle shaped like Iron Man trying to squeeze the life out of his wiener

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Oil And Antifreeze: New ‘Iron Man’ Cologne

We’ll just come right out and say it: Guitar Hero and Rock Band should watch their back, ’cause there’s a better-than-decent chance that Power Gig will be all the rage this holiday season. Seven45 Studios is a heretofore unheard of upstart with roots in First Act , and unlike the vast majority of game developers, these guys actually have a direct hand in the production of the software and hardware associated with this package

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Seven45 Studios talks Power Gig details, we go hands-on with its six string guitar peripheral

February 14th: A day invented by Hallmark to ensure I’ll never live up to my girlfriend’s expectations (it’s true, Mayan calendars skip straight from Feb. 13 to Feb

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Happy Valentine’s You Filthy Love Machines

Acer pulled closer to HP than ever in the third quarter of 2009, when it shipped 8.86 million laptops compared to HP’s 9.91 million, but it looks like things swung well back in the other direction during the fourth quarter.

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HP increases lead over Acer in worldwide laptop shipments

Apparently the dizzying expansion of mobile coverage in India has proceeded a little quicker than the regulatory process there — Indian carriers are in a bit of a tizzy after authorities shut down 300 allegedly illegal towers in a suburb of New Delhi called Noida. The gub’mint says the towers are on private land that’s not approved for commercial use, but the carriers say the move is “arbitrary and uncalled for,” and even “inhuman” because the loss of service means people can’t make emergency calls

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Indian mobile carriers scramble as illegal towers are shut down